5.15.2009

I Honestly Hope;

I hope that someday, you find an amazing girl.
The kind of girl who means everything to you
& makes you want to spend every moment of your time with her.
The kind of girl who keeps you up at night,
just thinking about her beautiful smile,
& when you finally fall asleep, she`s all you dream about.
I hope she`s the first thing to cross your mind
when you wake up in the morning.
I hope she changes you in a way you could never understand,
yet you know it`s for the better.
I hope she`s the kind of girl you would die for.
The kind of girl who could make you cry,
even though you`d never admit it.
The kind of girl who makes you want to go out
& do something special, something that means everything to the both of you.
The kind of girl you can have silly fights with,
then kiss & make up & hold her in your arms
like you`re falling in love all over again.
I hope you make memories with her you never forget.
I hope she`s your world,
& what you have with her is nothing less than perfection.
& I hope that one day, you lose her.
I hope you mess up & as hard as you try
to keep her there with you, she slips through the cracks of your broken heart.
I hope it destroys you,
because you realize you`ve lost the person you once called your everything.
I hope you see every moment you spent together
spin away down the drain like it was waiting to happen.
I hope you stay up at night because she`s on your mind
& when you fall asleep, she haunts your dreams.
I hope her beautiful smile stays pressed in your mind
like a scar that won`t fade away.
I hope you realize that you`re a new person because of her,
I hope your new self feels incomplete without her
& you miss the old you.
The one that was okay with being alone,
because you`d rather be the heartbreaker than the heartbroken

To some this week up in one word I would say; hectic. As we get down to the last three weeks of school, it gets down to the wire, also known as, exams, studying, exams, studying, exams, and oh yeah did I say studying? Finally exams for all my classes are coming up soon and it’s the nervous anxious feeling you get when your cramming till five o’clock in the morning to study over every single paper that has been given that semester/year and thinking to yourself “when the flark did we learn how to simplify those kinds of problems?” “What the crap does schism mean? Let alone how to you say it?” and “was I asleep during this part of class?” it’s frustrating, and its an overwhelming feeling waiting for those test results to come back that you passed and earned that one credit in addition to the other five credits you need for your freshmen year (those including Algebra and English.) In the end, it all comes down to the fact that in less then three weeks, my freshmen year will be over. I will be moving on, and becoming a sophomore, it’s hard to believe, the year went by so fast it’s not even funny. Some moments went in fast past, and others in slow moments, some I wish I could forget completely, some I want to relive my whole life. I did things I never said I was going to do, and ended up having the time of my life, and growing up. I met awesome people at Richland Northeast, found a family when I needed it most, found people that would allow me to be moody and still love me in the end, support me in every decision, and take my hand and lead me to the right place. At the end of the year, a lot of my good friends will be leaving, weather they are seniors or moving away, it will be hard for them to leave me, because none of my years at RNE will ever measure up to what this one did, because of them. This year has been a rollercoaster ride, I’ve faced heartache, failure, success, and happiness, and honestly, I loved every minute of it. Anyway, we had our practice exam for algebra on Thursday and Friday, and I think I can say I passed I was on a roll, ha-ha. I went to exam tutoring on Wednesday for the real exam and got some good review time in. A guest speaker came in today (Friday) for AVID, she was a nurse, who graduated from RNE, and played basketball at USC (university of South Carolina), and she later attended a Midlands tech, her speech was amazing and changed a lot of my thoughts, and she actually helped me a lot with a future job career. Next week colorguard season is starting back up and I am so beyond excited, ill get back to ya’ll on that. (: